122+ Clever Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons Facts

Clever Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons Facts

Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons Facts

If you are looking for clever sarcastic quotes about life lessons? You have come to the right place. Here is the collection of the best sarcastic quotes on life facts to get you inspired.

These sarcastic quotes will help to boost your mind power. In each sarcastic comment we hear, there is in every case some reality behind it. It's simpler to express our sentiments to others by being sarcastic. Check out the following best clever sarcastic quotes about life lessons, relationships, love, life facts, friends, work, and more.

Inspirational Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

1. In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep. - Albert Einstein

2. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. - Dalai Lama

3. When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work. - Anonymous

4. Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. - Benjamin Franklin

5. When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot Twist” and move on. - Anonymous

6. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. - Abraham Lincoln

Inspirational Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

7. You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until you have a mini-me who acts the same way. - Anonymous

8. Opportunities are like sunsets. If you wait too long, you miss them. - William Arthur Ward

9. Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. - Anonymous

10. An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. - Robert Oppenheimer

11. Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure. - Murphy’s Law

Best Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

12. Need money for college. Need college for a job. Need a job for money. Who was the mastermind behind this system? - Anonymous

13. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew. - Anonymous

14. Everyone has the right to be stupid. But you’re abusing the privilege. - Anonymous

15. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. - A. A. Milne

Best Cool Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

16. I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. - Anonymous

17. I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde

18. I always say “Morning” Instead of “Good Morning” Because if it was a good morning, I would still be in bed and not talking to people. - Anonymous

19. My Doctor asked if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said: ”No, we all seem to enjoy it. - Anonymous

20. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. - Anonymous

21. People need to start appreciating the effort I put in to not be a serial killer. - Anonymous

22. It’s okay if you don't like me. Not everyone has good taste. - Anonymous

23. The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

24. Mirrors can't talk, lucky for you they can't laugh either. - Anonymous

Best Cool Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

25. If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito. - Anonymous

26. I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Anonymous

27. Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

Clever Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

28. Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them. - Walter Kerr

29. I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you. - Anonymous

30. I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde

Clever Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

31. I hate it when I think I’m buying organic vegetables but when I get home, I discover they’re just regular donuts. - Anonymous

33. Clever as the devil and twice as pretty. - Anonymous

34. Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

Sarcastic Quotes About Relationships

35. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. - Albert Einstein

36. I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night. - Anonymous

37. I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today. - Anonymous

38. If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married you can’t even change the TV Channel. - Anonymous

Sarcastic Quotes About Relationships

39. At every party, there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. - Ann Landers

Read: Relationship Quotes

40. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. - Murphy’s Laws

41. Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love. - Benjamin Disraeli

Sarcastic Quotes About Love

42. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

43. This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. - Lorrie Moore

44. Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste. - Anonymous

Read: Beautiful Quotes On Love

45. Love is a blind whore with mental disease and no sense of humor. - Anonymous

46. Love is a lot like a toothache. It doesn’t show up on X-ray but you know it’s there. - Anonymous

Sarcastic Quotes About Love

47. Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. - P.G. Wodehouse

48. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit. - Anonymous

49. I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you. - Anonymous

Funny Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

50. When people see you laying down with your eyes closed, they still ask “Are you sleeping?” And I’m like, “No. I’m training to die." - Anonymous

51. I don’t believe in plastic surgery, But in your case, Go ahead!  - Anonymous

52. People say that laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world! - Anonymous

53. I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day. - Anonymous

Read: Quotes To Make You Smile and Feel Better

54. I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic. - Sarah Rees Brennan

55. I take super-hot showers to practice burning in hell. - Anonymous

56. There’s someone for everyone. And the person for you is a physiatrist. - Anonymous

Funny Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

57. Come here you big, beautiful cup of coffee, and lie to me about how much we’re going to get done today. - Anonymous

58. I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? - Anonymous

59. Tell me how I have upset you because I want to know how to do it again. - Anonymous

60. Grammar. The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit. - Anonymous

61. Do I look like the kind of person who wastes time turning goats into pin cushions? - L.J. Smith

62. I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception. - Anonymous

Sarcastic Quotes About Friends

63. True bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing. - Anonymous

64. Dear fake friends,  First of all, you should know, I am typing this with my middle finger. - Anonymous

65. My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible. - Anonymous

66. Be careful what you tell people. A Friend Today could be an Enemy tomorrow. - Anonymous

Read: Words Of Encouragement To A Friend Feeling Down

67. Only real friends tell you when your face is dirty. - Anonymous

68. Good friends don’t let you do stupid things…alone. - Anonymous

Sarcastic Quotes About Friends

69. Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. - Anonymous

70. Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face. - Anonymous

71. I am the friend you have to explain to your other friends before they meet me. - Anonymous

72. The awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single. - Anonymous

Top Good Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

73. That is the ugliest top I've ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly. - Anonymous

74. When I’m feeling down and someone says “suck it up”, I get the urge to break their legs and say, “walk it off”. - Anonymous

75. I’m sorry, I don't take orders. I barely take suggestions. - Anonymous

76. Sometimes I feel so sick at the state of the world I can't even finish my second apple pie. - Banksy

Read: Quotes About Positive Minds

77. I’m too lazy to be your stalker. You'll have to come here and bring coffee. - Anonymous

78. I woke up today and spun the wheel of attitude. Yep, it landed on bitch again. - Anonymous

79. I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain. - Cassandra Clare

Top Good Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

80. An apple a day keeps anything away if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous

81. They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast. - Anonymous

82. Controlling my tongue is no problem. It’s my face that needs deliverance. - Anonymous

83. I have to stop saying how stupid you can be. Some people are starting to take it as a challenge. - Anonymous

84. Congratulations! You’ve managed to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit again. Would you like an award for that? - Anonymous

Sarcastic Quotes On Life Facts

85. Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy. - Cynthia Nelms

86. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. - Alan Dundes

87. I may look calm but in my mind, I’ve killed you three times. - Anonymous

88. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. - Mark Twain

89. I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood. - J.D. Salinger

90. Only two things change in your life. Your age and your outlook. - Anonymous

91. Life is a soup and I'm a freaking fork. - Anonymous

Sarcastic Quotes On Life Facts

92. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

Read: Philosophy Quotes

93. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

94. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. - Anonymous

95. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant

Short Sarcastic Quotes About Life lessons

96. Mirrors Don't Lie And Lucky For You They Don't Laugh. - Anonymous

97. Find your patience before I lose mine. - Anonymous

98. If your phone doesn't ring, it’s me. - Anonymous

99. My alone time is sometimes for your safety. - Anonymous

100. You know what I like about people? Their dogs. - Anonymous

101. Jealousy is a disease…get well soon. - Anonymous

102. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Anonymous

Short Sarcastic Quotes About Life lessons

102. Don't Underestimate My Ability to find shit out. - Anonymous

103. War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography. - Ambrose Bierce

104. Zombies eat brains. You're safe. - Anonymous

Read: Short Quotes About Happiness

105. Some people are a human version of a migraine. - Anonymous

106. I’d slap you but that would be animal abuse. - Anonymous

107. Excuse me, which level of hell is this? - Anonymous

108. You were my cup of tea, But I drink champagne now. - Anonymous

109. Silence is golden. duct tape is silver. - Anonymous

Work Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

110. I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I’m probably at work. - Anonymous

111. My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work. - Anonymous

112. My Boss Told me to Have a Good Day So I went home. - Anonymous

113. The reward for good work is more work. - Anonymous

114. I send pointless emails late at night to impress coworkers. - Anonymous

Work Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

115. Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything. - Anonymous

116. There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation. - Anonymous

117. I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen. - Anonymous

118. I wasn’t always this sarcastic. It took me many years of dealing with assholes to become this good at it. - Anonymous

Sarcasm Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

119. Sarcasm creates a chasm between yourself and others. - Gayle Forman

120. Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity. - Anonymous

121. I know I don’t have to be sarcastic, but the world has given me so much material to work with. I would hate to be wasteful. - Anonymous

122. People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm are my favorite. - Anonymous

123. Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt. - Cassandra Clare

Sarcasm Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons

124. Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal. - Anonymous

125. My mind reels with sarcastic replies. - Charles M. Schulz

126. Sweetie, leave the sarcasm and insults to the pros. You’re going to hurt yourself. Go play in traffic. - Anonymous

Read: Inspirational Quotes About Not Giving Up

127. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. - E.L. James

128. You know, Gilan, sarcasm isn't the lowest form of wit. It's not even wit at all. - John Flanagan

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