Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons Facts
If you are looking for clever sarcastic quotes about life lessons? You have come to the right place. Here is the collection of the best sarcastic quotes on life facts to get you inspired.
These sarcastic quotes will help to boost your mind power. In each sarcastic comment we hear, there is in every case some reality behind it. It's simpler to express our sentiments to others by being sarcastic. Check out the following best clever sarcastic quotes about life lessons, relationships, love, life facts, friends, work, and more.
Inspirational Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons
1. In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep. - Albert Einstein
2. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. - Dalai Lama
3. When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work. - Anonymous
4. Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. - Benjamin Franklin
5. When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot Twist” and move on. - Anonymous
6. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. - Abraham Lincoln
8. Opportunities are like sunsets. If you wait too long, you miss them. - William Arthur Ward
9. Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. - Anonymous
10. An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. - Robert Oppenheimer
11. Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure. - Murphy’s Law
Best Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons
12. Need money for college. Need college for a job. Need a job for money. Who was the mastermind behind this system? - Anonymous
13. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew. - Anonymous
14. Everyone has the right to be stupid. But you’re abusing the privilege. - Anonymous
15. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. - A. A. Milne
17. I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde
18. I always say “Morning” Instead of “Good Morning” Because if it was a good morning, I would still be in bed and not talking to people. - Anonymous
19. My Doctor asked if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said: ”No, we all seem to enjoy it. - Anonymous
20. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. - Anonymous
21. People need to start appreciating the effort I put in to not be a serial killer. - Anonymous
22. It’s okay if you don't like me. Not everyone has good taste. - Anonymous
23. The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire
24. Mirrors can't talk, lucky for you they can't laugh either. - Anonymous
25. If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito. - Anonymous
26. I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Anonymous
27. Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov
Clever Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons
28. Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them. - Walter Kerr
29. I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you. - Anonymous
30. I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde
33. Clever as the devil and twice as pretty. - Anonymous
34. Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan
Sarcastic Quotes About Relationships
35. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. - Albert Einstein
36. I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night. - Anonymous
37. I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today. - Anonymous
38. If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married you can’t even change the TV Channel. - Anonymous
Read: Relationship Quotes
40. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. - Murphy’s Laws
41. Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love. - Benjamin Disraeli
Sarcastic Quotes About Love
42. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
43. This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. - Lorrie Moore
44. Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste. - Anonymous
Read: Beautiful Quotes On Love
45. Love is a blind whore with mental disease and no sense of humor. - Anonymous
46. Love is a lot like a toothache. It doesn’t show up on X-ray but you know it’s there. - Anonymous
47. Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. - P.G. Wodehouse
48. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit. - Anonymous
49. I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you. - Anonymous
Funny Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons
50. When people see you laying down with your eyes closed, they still ask “Are you sleeping?” And I’m like, “No. I’m training to die." - Anonymous
51. I don’t believe in plastic surgery, But in your case, Go ahead! - Anonymous
52. People say that laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world! - Anonymous
53. I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day. - Anonymous
Read: Quotes To Make You Smile and Feel Better
54. I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic. - Sarah Rees Brennan
55. I take super-hot showers to practice burning in hell. - Anonymous
56. There’s someone for everyone. And the person for you is a physiatrist. - Anonymous
58. I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? - Anonymous
59. Tell me how I have upset you because I want to know how to do it again. - Anonymous
60. Grammar. The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit. - Anonymous
61. Do I look like the kind of person who wastes time turning goats into pin cushions? - L.J. Smith
62. I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception. - Anonymous
Sarcastic Quotes About Friends
63. True bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing. - Anonymous
64. Dear fake friends, First of all, you should know, I am typing this with my middle finger. - Anonymous
65. My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible. - Anonymous
66. Be careful what you tell people. A Friend Today could be an Enemy tomorrow. - Anonymous
Read: Words Of Encouragement To A Friend Feeling Down
67. Only real friends tell you when your face is dirty. - Anonymous
68. Good friends don’t let you do stupid things…alone. - Anonymous
69. Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. - Anonymous
70. Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face. - Anonymous
71. I am the friend you have to explain to your other friends before they meet me. - Anonymous
72. The awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single. - Anonymous
Top Good Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons
73. That is the ugliest top I've ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly. - Anonymous
74. When I’m feeling down and someone says “suck it up”, I get the urge to break their legs and say, “walk it off”. - Anonymous
75. I’m sorry, I don't take orders. I barely take suggestions. - Anonymous
76. Sometimes I feel so sick at the state of the world I can't even finish my second apple pie. - Banksy
Read: Quotes About Positive Minds
77. I’m too lazy to be your stalker. You'll have to come here and bring coffee. - Anonymous
78. I woke up today and spun the wheel of attitude. Yep, it landed on bitch again. - Anonymous
79. I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain. - Cassandra Clare
80. An apple a day keeps anything away if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous
81. They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast. - Anonymous
82. Controlling my tongue is no problem. It’s my face that needs deliverance. - Anonymous
83. I have to stop saying how stupid you can be. Some people are starting to take it as a challenge. - Anonymous
84. Congratulations! You’ve managed to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit again. Would you like an award for that? - Anonymous
Sarcastic Quotes On Life Facts
85. Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy. - Cynthia Nelms
86. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. - Alan Dundes
87. I may look calm but in my mind, I’ve killed you three times. - Anonymous
88. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. - Mark Twain
89. I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood. - J.D. Salinger
90. Only two things change in your life. Your age and your outlook. - Anonymous
91. Life is a soup and I'm a freaking fork. - Anonymous
92. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein
Read: Philosophy Quotes
93. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson
94. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. - Anonymous
95. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant
Short Sarcastic Quotes About Life lessons
96. Mirrors Don't Lie And Lucky For You They Don't Laugh. - Anonymous
97. Find your patience before I lose mine. - Anonymous
98. If your phone doesn't ring, it’s me. - Anonymous
99. My alone time is sometimes for your safety. - Anonymous
100. You know what I like about people? Their dogs. - Anonymous
101. Jealousy is a disease…get well soon. - Anonymous
102. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Anonymous
103. War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography. - Ambrose Bierce
104. Zombies eat brains. You're safe. - Anonymous
Read: Short Quotes About Happiness
105. Some people are a human version of a migraine. - Anonymous
106. I’d slap you but that would be animal abuse. - Anonymous
107. Excuse me, which level of hell is this? - Anonymous
108. You were my cup of tea, But I drink champagne now. - Anonymous
109. Silence is golden. duct tape is silver. - Anonymous
Work Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons
110. I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I’m probably at work. - Anonymous
111. My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work. - Anonymous
112. My Boss Told me to Have a Good Day So I went home. - Anonymous
113. The reward for good work is more work. - Anonymous
114. I send pointless emails late at night to impress coworkers. - Anonymous
115. Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything. - Anonymous
116. There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation. - Anonymous
117. I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen. - Anonymous
118. I wasn’t always this sarcastic. It took me many years of dealing with assholes to become this good at it. - Anonymous
Sarcasm Sarcastic Quotes About Life Lessons
119. Sarcasm creates a chasm between yourself and others. - Gayle Forman
120. Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity. - Anonymous
121. I know I don’t have to be sarcastic, but the world has given me so much material to work with. I would hate to be wasteful. - Anonymous
122. People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm are my favorite. - Anonymous
123. Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt. - Cassandra Clare
125. My mind reels with sarcastic replies. - Charles M. Schulz
126. Sweetie, leave the sarcasm and insults to the pros. You’re going to hurt yourself. Go play in traffic. - Anonymous
Read: Inspirational Quotes About Not Giving Up
Read: Inspirational Quotes About Not Giving Up
127. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. - E.L. James
128. You know, Gilan, sarcasm isn't the lowest form of wit. It's not even wit at all. - John Flanagan
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